Oh no! Please don’t start telling me about…

magnet-law-of-attraction

Oh no! Please don’t start telling me about…

The LAW OF ATTRACTION again!

Ever since the movie and book “The Secret” came out, so many people have been jumping on the “LOA” bandwagon. People have decided that they need to stop running around, sit down, make a wish, and they’ll get what they want. B.S.!!!

That just plays right into the hands of people who really don’t do enough about achieving their dreams and goals anyway, and now they’re allowed to really sit on their butts! What a trap! I guess it helps destroy the competition (if you believe in that sort of thing. I don’t.).

I have to make it clear straight off. I am NOT a fan of esotericism or “spirituality” in this sense. Esotericism and Spirituality (with the lack of religious beliefs) only accomplishes to dumb-down the masses and make them believe in magic. Believing in magic is OK for kids, but for grown-ups,… come on!

The most important part of ATTRACTION is the word “ACTION”!

You want to know why the LOA has worked for some people? They were very, very aware from the get-go about the necessity of ACTION. Congruent, 100% believing, focus-directed, action!

THAT is what gets your goals and dreams happening! Not talking or praying to your guardian angels, not writing letters to the universe, not spending hours creating your Dream Board! These practices are really just external ways of talking to yourself! So, why not cut out the middle man? TALK TO YOURSELF! DO IT POSITIVELY and DO IT OFTEN! (Not in front of others, please!)

And do yourself another favor:

DO NOT BUY ANOTHER SELF-HELP BOOK!

You probably have plenty, found them helpful, and STILL didn’t USE the information you got out of them! If so, you’re like most people. I’ve been there as well. Go back to your favorite books, favorite chapters, and finally USE that stuff! You won’t need to do it all. Just making one single simple change in your life will create a landslide of results that will lead to other things you couldn’t have imagined.

Which one to do? The one that feels right, and do it right away!

Starve the Fear, Feed the Desire!

Aren’t you tired of hearing about…

80/20 principle
80/20 Principle

Aren’t you tired of hearing about…

The 80/20 Principle?

So many so-called personal development “Gurus” talk about spending only 20% of your time on a problem and 80% of your time on the solution. Fine and good but what does look like? Let’s try an example:

Alloted time: 1 hour (60 mins).

That means I’m only going to spend 12 minutes complaining (or cursing, yelling, brooding, etc) and 48 minutes finding a solution. Can all problems be solved within 48 minutes? Of course not. :-/

Let’s try your waking day: 16 hours (if you actually get 8 hours sleep).

So that’s 3 hours and 32 minutes grieving, sighing, despairing, etc. and 12 hours and 28 minutes on the solution. Sounds pretty generous.

Nevertheless, none of us are going to set a timer next to us to really see that we only use the alloted time for complaint and NOT go over it.

Many things just don’t have a timeline on them or just the time necessary for improvement cannot be predicted.

Problems are still an emotional thing. We have to get ourselves into a certain frame of mind that mobilizes us to contemplate and then take action.

If you feel the need to complain a little longer than that “20% of your time”, then do so! Get it out of your system! When you need to be healed from an illness, you need to get the sick bacteria/virus out of your body in order to be healed. That can take many hours, days, if not weeks.

If you just got lout of a bad relationship, you have to sulk, cry, get angry, all that is necessary in order to move on and build up the trust in yourself before you enter a new relationship. That can take weeks, months, for some even years (unfortunate souls)!

The more you practice (yes, practice!) letting little things just roll off of you (like the guy who cut you off in traffic, the kid that stepped on your foot and didn’t excuse himself), the better you’ll be able to handle large catastrophes! Practice getting yourself into a good mood. Listen to your favorite music, watch your favorite film, re-read your favorite books and articles, call your best friend, go workout, eat your favorite foods (but don’t overdo it, please).

You need to take the time you need to do what you need to do!

Starve the Fear, Feed the Desire!

Think You’re Too Old to Learn a New Language?

Think You’re Too Old to Learn a New Language? Think again.

Before you start thinking about how lousy you did in school in Spanish, French, German, or any other language, and deduce that you “just have no talent” for languages, or that your “brain is too old to take in new information”, let me try to prove you wrong. Bare with me.

From my personal experience with language learning in school, I’d say I did well. I got good grades, even got an citywide award for “Excellence in Spanish”. But let me tell you, I knew the language on paper but couldn’t hold a conversation with anybody. And that after 4 years!

After having the opportunity to travel the world a little, I’ve been able to learn some basic Travel French, Travel Italian, and eventually become fluent in German. I’ve realised that school is one of the worst places to learn a language! You merely learn the language academically, and you don’t really learn what you need to know if you’re planning on travelling or flirting with your foreign-language-speaking neighbor or co-worker.

How did you learn your mother tongue? By studying vocabulary, grammar, using flash cards and taking tests? No? Me neither. Whew, I thought I was the only one. 🙂 All kidding aside, you learned your language by hearing it all around you. And since you were a very interested kid and everybody was interested in you, you wanted to get in on all the fun. So, you started mimicking your mother, your father, your friends, etc. You wanted to be able to do what everybody else was doing… Communicating!

What’s your motivation?

Why do you or did you want to learn a new language? For a job promotion? For your resume? For your intellect? Those are all fine reasons, but not enough. What is the primary purpose of a language? You got it. Communicating with other human beings! In my opinion, this has to be the main motivator when learning a language! You have to gain an affinity (if you haven’t already) for the language you want to learn. You have to at least LIKE it, if not LOVE it! Now I referred to my language learning connected to my travel experiences. Yes, I was able to learn at least some of a language by actually being in the country for a period time. Tied in with that, it was a new world for me and I wanted to gobble up the experiences as much as possible. I was highly motivated to learn to communicate (and to flirt with the receptionists at the hotels). 😉 But no, I don’t believe that you HAVE to be in that country in order to learn that language.

How much do you have to know?

How well do you want to learn your target language? Enough for vacation in 2 weeks? Enough for idle conversation? Fluently because you’re moving to another country because of a job, education, retirement or adventure? Each goal has a different level of mastery required. But, don’t get nervous! Each language in everyday use consists of about only 200 words. Used with basic grammar, you’re unstoppable!

Vocabulary and Grammar?

Although having a vocabulary is very helpful and knowing the basics of grammar will at least insure that you don’t sound like a complete idiot, you can’t get so hung up on them. At least not so much that you don’t speak out of fear of saying something incorrectly. People are nice. People are actually supportive of another. They help you by correcting you or just letting you speak, providing they understand what it is that you want.

What’s the best method?

I started out with just basic “See and Say” books. I watched local television. I went to the cinema when time allowed. I first saw the movie “Terminator” in German (wasn’t hard. mostly action). I later saw the film “Amadeus” in Italian ( a little more difficult, but very entertaining).

It’s been said that immersion is the best way to learn a new language. When you’re in the country, you’ve got that basically covered as long as you go out in the streets and communicate! If you’re not in the country of your target language, there are MeetUp groups, bookstores, film and audio sections at the local library, Online Language Learning via websites or Skype.

Everyone learns differently and has different interests and motivations. I think the best is to use a multiplicity of sources. Film, audio, comic books, newspapers, magazines, podcasts, practice speaking out loud in front of the mirror, labelling everything in your home with words and phrases, whatever works for you! Just be sure to make a connection to another human being. You’ll learn nuances about a language you’ll never learn out of a book.

Again, too old?

Emphatically no! As long as you have a healthy nervous system you can learn anything! Your motivation, the time you spend practicing, and have a clear idea about how well do you want to speak another language. Keep track of your learning in a journal. Write down what you’ve learned, what happened that day, what links to your own language did you discover, etc. Regular review of your journal will keep you motivated and improve your focus.

Starve the Fear, Feed the Passion!

Think You’re Too Old to Have New Goals?

Let’s face it, depending on how far you are down life’s line before your deathbed, it may seem hopeless to try to turn your life around in a new direction. But the truth is, as long as you’re still breathing you can still transform your life. Guaranteed!

Humans are a goal-oriented breed. We need to have goals set for us whether we are aware of it or not. As soon as we’ve reached one goal we’re setting our sights on the next, and then the next, and then the next. It’s impossible for us to continue living without goals. Without goals we become stagnant and start dying! So, the fact that you are still alive and still living, there must be a goal that you’re reaching for somewhere deep inside of you.

What are your goals?

How do you assess what they are? Look into your hopes and dreams! Trust in them! Don’t make light of them and don’t think that any of them are just crazy. It’s been said that if you can image it, you have power within you to attain it. It’s that simple. Hard to believe? Think about your life up until this point. Haven’t you reached goals that either you or others thought were not possible for you? If you’re honest with yourself, you surely have. You have to remember these achievements in order to fire yourself up for the next success.

Failures?

Have you experienced failure? Sure you have! Did it mean the end of your world? It may have felt like it at the time, but in hindsight you’ll notice that it wasn’t the end of your life. You’ve transformed yourself into a new life out of the lessons learned from those failures. “Those who’ve never failed, have never really tried!” True failure occurs only when you give up. Don’t be one of those who were too timid to keep on trying after failing once, twice or more! Life is too precious and short to waste time wallowing over past disappointments and setbacks. Grab your life by the horns (or by the balls, if you prefer) and go head on.

Scared? Good! That means you’re leaving your comfort zone. You know what they say; “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone“.

Starve the Fear, and Feed the Dream!

Stop Complaining!

Why are you complaining?

What USE is that?

I mean, it’s ok to be discontented, and that you want to voice your opinion on your situation, but keep it to a minimum. Why? Because only you can do something about it. Friends can maybe give you some insights, so you should listen to at least some of what they say, but please, please, please, not ALL of it!

It’s ok to proclaim that you’re NOT ok with your situation! You may want to keep the sordid details away from your friends, but don’t lie to yourself! Admit that you’re NOT fine. Then, devise a plan to MAKE things fine.

First off, if you think life has just handed you a sh*t sandwich, by all means DON’T take a bite! Go back and recount all the GOOD things that are going on in your life and use that to your advantage. Let it all pump you up to energize you to change your current situation.

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